Last updated 19:24, Thursday, 20 November 2008

I’VE purged the understairs cupboard’s teetering piles of Christmas food magazines – a perilous business, extricating one without an avalanche landing on one’s head.

We’re on Mission Impossible: finding perfect Christmas baking recipes in time for the big day.

There’s an array of glistening turkeys, sugared mince pies and frosted cakes on the covers before me . . . some hefty promises too: Your Best Christmas Ever!/Your Christmas Sorted!/Relax!/Be A Party Queen.

Really? Christmas Day is the most stressful day of the year for most women (and a few men). Shortcuts are necessary, to lessen the burden (pre-prepared sprouts or mother-in-law’s help? Ready-rolled pigs in blankets or grumpy teenager complaining about bacon?)

Back to the cake . . . I know there are ORGANISED ladies who don their pinnies, wield their wooden spoons, even on the correct day (which this year is November 23) with the right number of ingredients (13), everyone in the family making a wish as they stir – in the right direction of course (east to west).

I might be prepared in time to make the pudding, but should it be a traditional figgy one or a more modern number?

Hmmm . . . do we really want five hours’ steaming, the walls and windows running with condensation? Maybe a commercial one (saw some nice ones in Booths) with only three minutes microwaving is more realistic.

The cake, then. I fancy an exotic one for a change (rum, oranges, spices) but the traditional (boring?) among us don’t fancy dates, cranberries or butternut squash. Maybe not: computer says no.

So, it’s the whisky cake that wins. We’ll be filling our basket with the necessaries this weekend.

And we mustn’t forget the essential daily ‘feeding’ with alcohol (cake or me?). Isn’t that the cook’s privilege, after all?