Last updated 11:24, Monday, 01 December 2008

WHAT recession is that, then? While most of the world seems financially troubled, customers at one Carlisle business are clearly above that sort of thing.

For the tea drinker who has everything... John Watt and Son’s coffee house

Bank Street coffee shop John Watt and Son, more commonly referred to as Watts, is offering gift vouchers as Christmas presents.

And why not? There is plenty in Watts’ wide range of teas, coffees and delicacies to please most palates.

However, Reiver must confess to being a little surprised by the amounts for which vouchers are available.

These are advertised by flyers left on the tables: “Gift vouchers available now for Christmas. £10 to £10,000.”

£10,000 to spend in Watts? Reiver is a regular customer at this marvellous place but even I might struggle to spend 10-grand there, unless they start sprinkling gold dust on the cappuccinos.

The most expensive product I could find at Watts is Pai Mu Tan loose leaf white tea, at £2.70 per 100g.

For £10,000 you could buy 0.36 tons of the stuff, enough to ensure that the rest of your life is spent drinking tea and visiting the lavatory.

But it appears that even 10-grand isn’t enough for some people. After “£10 to £10,000”, the next line of the flyer reads: “Higher values can be arranged.”

This must come as a relief to all those angry customers who have been storming into Watts demanding the right to buy a £20,000 gift voucher.