By Mark Green

Last updated 11:24, Thursday, 18 December 2008

So, it’s official (well, almost) manflu doesn’t exist. The long-held opinion that men are whining, sniffling whingers is, cough, splutter, wrong.

Actually, it is women who turn out to be the biggest moaners when it comes to suffering from a winter bug.

Us blokes who dare to succumb to a cough or sneak out a snuffle, usually also suffer a severe bout of earache as well...

The appearance of a hankie is met with the compassionate and soothing words from womenfolk: “Awww diddums, have we got a tickly cough? is it that nasty manflu again?”

Or else: “Oooh, he’s got manflu, it’ll be far worse than anything I had last time when I still came in to work, even though I ached all over and felt run over by a truck/bus/train/that huge fella from accounts.”

Women – the sympathetic, the nurturing, the born-carers...

Sitting in this office at the moment is more like being on a seal colony or in the ward of one of those old sanitariums (no, not where you get a fake tan).

There’s coughing, sneezing, wheezing, hacking, snorting and snuffling (hope you’re not reading this over your tea).

Either that, or a remake of Snow White with snotty, coughy, wheezy, sneezy ...

But according to the latest, up-to-the-minute research, most women admit to exaggerating their cold and flu symptoms just for attention or to get a day off work, while men are less likely to create a fuss or crave attention when they fall ill.

Apparently.

The thing is (and I’m going to sound horribly politically-correct here) it isn’t down to gender.

Some people get ill more than others, some get over it quicker than others and some people are just born whingers.

What does annoy me are those people who insist on dragging their snotty, germ-filled bodies into work and then infect the rest of us.

The best thing anyone can do if they get a cough or a sniffle is to STAY AWAY.